29 Sep Uncensored

When you think about the perfection of nature and the wonder that life is, it would seem very strange if we as humans were not equipped from head to toe by the great mystery to be able to experience everything that is here to be experienced. And that is indeed the case. We have all the inner technology within us to experience everything it means to be human and life in its full spectrum and intensity. Why else would you go through all the trouble to incarnate here and so greatly limit your bandwidth of consciousness? It’s like going to the Efteling but not riding the Python. I suspect that we come here to experience all the facets of earthly life and, in doing so, enrich ourselves in the quest for what it means to be a complete human being.

And yet, for most people, this is far removed from their daily reality. Through what we experience in life and, perhaps more importantly, how we consciously and unconsciously deal with it, a fragmentation develops in our personality between the primary parts that we strongly develop because they protect our vulnerability, and the parts that we disown and do not develop. Because the primary parts are familiar and shield us from pain, rejection, and further trauma, they collectively create the comfort zone in which we feel safe. However, this safety is merely an illusion of safety.

The comfort zone functions like a filtering system. First of all, anything that is too painful, frightening, or shameful gets censored. It is denied, ignored, or cancelled. It is buried deep in the subconscious, making it seem as if it doesn’t exist. The deeper in the shadow it goes, the less safe your system feels when dealing with these experiences. An equal amount of safety is needed to allow these shadow parts to even surface for healing. On the other hand, the filtering system regulates how much can be experienced before inhibiting conditioning kicks in. It’s not all or nothing, but a sliding scale where part of you can be present with what is, another part is triggered, and a part is fully reactive.

We call it the comfort zone, but if you look closely, it’s a prison. ‘A prison for your mind’ that we redecorate from time to time, but which gradually becomes smaller and smaller. This happens due to resistance to those parts of life where we (still) haven’t found a way to deal with them. Our conscious and unconscious conflict with life leads us to exclude more and more, rather than to integrate. The path of the compassionate heart turns this tide. In the merging of consciousness and compassion, we activate an inherent transparency within ourselves, making protection, filtering, and censorship unnecessary.

Step by step, you open the door and discover that not only does everything that lives in the shadow want to be acknowledged, but also that deep down, everything within you longs to experience, embrace, and integrate this. Almost everyone who walks this path notices the increased intensity of life, which is often mistaken for things seeming to get ‘worse’, a kind of homeopathic effect. So, for example, if you have suppressed fear for a long time and now begin to make space to truly experience it, it may seem that the fear is growing. But the fear isn’t getting bigger; the censorship is becoming less. And because of that, you feel the fear as it truly is, without filter and censorship. And that can feel intense and overwhelming, especially if it has long been suppressed and your system is still adjusting to the space and intensity of this way of experiencing. It’s valuable to realise this and not to be discouraged in this new phase of life, in which you literally have to retrain your entire energy system in how to deal with everything that awaits you. You are moving from surviving to living. Everything within you is designed to do that, and believe me, you will survive this. No one has ever died from feeling unfiltered and uncensored sorrow, but they have from resisting it…