01 Mar A killer in the room

According to the Dalai Lama, love and compassion are not luxury goods but essential necessities for the survival of humanity. Compassion, which literally means ‘to suffer together,’ arises when one is confronted with the suffering of others and is motivated to take action to alleviate it.

Compassion, however, is not the same as empathy or altruism, despite their interrelation. Empathy refers to our ability to experience another person’s perspective and emotions, whereas compassion adds the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, involves acting with the intention of enhancing another’s well-being, even at personal risk or cost.

Although neuroscientific research on compassion is still in its early stages, numerous fascinating findings have already been published, supporting the Dalai Lama’s beliefs. For instance, it is now known that experiencing compassion lowers heart rate, triggers the release of the bonding hormone oxytocin, and activates brain regions associated with empathy, helpfulness, and bliss. These physiological responses encourage individuals to reach out and care for others. However, this is not all. Cultivating compassion allows individuals to experience suffering more intensely than others, yet the strengthening effects of compassion on the system enhance resilience and facilitate a quicker return to a baseline state of well-being. Contrary to popular belief, compassion does not deplete energy; rather, it generates vitality. Furthermore, compassion promotes neural integration, literally connecting various brain regions while simultaneously boosting the immune system.

Compassion is fundamentally determined by one’s ability to perceive the true nature of suffering. In Buddhism, the illusory sense of separateness is regarded as the root of all suffering. Transcending this illusion involves realising that, at a quantum level, everything is energetically interconnected and that true compassion acknowledges that one cannot be separate from the suffering of ‘the other.’ Another crucial component is that compassion activates the motor cortex in the brain, prompting action to actively transform the suffering of others. The most challenging prerequisite for true compassion is the ability to act without attachment to the outcome.

These insights into the nature of compassion lead to the paradoxical realisation that suffering, at its core, is impersonal; it is life manifesting itself as suffering. What causes suffering is not the experience itself but the tendency to personalise it and attempt to understand, control, and resolve it through the mind. For example, when one feels fear, the body immediately signals that the fear belongs to them. Instead of recognising ‘fear is being experienced,’ one thinks, ‘I am afraid’ or ‘I have fear.’ This identification with the experience is reinforced by the mind, which constructs a narrative around who, what, where, why, and when. In this process, the mind seeks to eliminate the fear. Thus, it becomes evident that the real struggle is not with the fear itself but with the conditioned identification and resistance to it.

In the presence of true compassion, this illusion is unveiled. By being available with awareness and compassion for suffering and the one who suffers, the illusion of personal drama dissolves. Remarkably, this does not occur through intellectual understanding or active attempts to ‘fix’ the suffering. Instead, it is the act of conscious, loving presence—without expectation of an outcome—that reduces tension surrounding suffering and may even dissolve it entirely. This occurs not because suffering must end but because it is recognised that the identity of the sufferer is an illusion. Suffering may cease, or it may persist, but the critical question remains whether it is still perceived as a problem when it is no longer taken personally. The compassionate presence of the heart brings immediate and tangible relief, even if the person suffering is not in that state themselves.

Compassion is a force field—an ultimate remedy inherent to life itself that continuously surrounds, permeates, and invites us to realise that life is all-encompassing and does not require fixing. It is a gentle yet relentless force that waits patiently and strikes at the perfect, magical moment. In doing so, it does not end suffering but rather dissolves the illusion of the ‘sufferer.’ There is a killer in the room…