01 Jul Being transparent

I sometimes use the metaphor of a spider’s web to explain what it means to be transparent. You are the spider at the centre of the web, and all your unresolved emotions, traumas, limiting beliefs, and convictions are obstacles within the web that create resistance. When a wave of emotions passes through you, much like the wind through a spider’s web, these obstacles generate significant movement, resistance, and intense reactions, making it take longer for the web to return to its relaxed state.

These obstacles in your web arise because, on the one hand, you take your experiences personally, and on the other, you constantly seek to understand and resolve them. These are the two mechanisms that, energetically, create tension around your experiences. In a clearing, the exact opposite occurs. By consciously acknowledging your emotions, feelings, physical sensations, and thoughts and allowing them to be fully present, the inappropriately accumulated tension dissolves.

Holding onto tension is toxic for your system. The energetic charge that is retained acts like an inflammation; your body will immediately signal that something is amiss. As long as this tension remains part of your constitution, life will continue to remind you that there is still something requiring your attention before harmony and balance can be restored.

“What you give attention to grows” is a phrase I hear frequently. However, it is not simply about giving attention, but rather about what you do with that attention. When you direct your awareness to an experience, it comes to life, as if illuminated by a spotlight. At that point, you stand at a metaphorical crossroads. Turning left represents the path of the mind; what you notice there is experienced as yours, something you wish to explain and control. Indeed, what you give attention to in this way will grow, becoming increasingly manifest in your perceived reality. Turning right represents the path of the heart. On this path, you are consciously and compassionately present for whatever arises. In the convergence of these two forces, tension dissolves within the compassionate heart, and conflicts can no longer persist. What is given attention in this manner does not grow; instead, it shrinks, discharges, and eventually dissolves.

Tension within your system occupies space. People often express feeling “full.” Those who release tension create space, which not only feels lighter and more expansive but also makes you more transparent, allowing life to flow through you—both literally and figuratively—without being held or constrained. By embracing life within your heart, you become receptive to a wealth of experiences, acknowledging that everything has its natural timing and that you do not need to let go; rather, in the end, everything releases you.